As you grow older you realise that moving through stages in life sometimes means facing all sorts of challenges you weren’t prepared for.
People who have overcome such ordeals often say that what helped them the most was the fact that they were emotionally stable and mentally tough.
What is "tough"?
“Emotionally stable” here means being in touch with your emotions, that you recognise what you feel. It also means that you know how to avoid whatever makes you feel uncomfortable or awkward, so that you’re able to step away unharmed.
Being “tough” here doesn’t mean being physically strong or emotionally aggressive. It means being mature and smart enough to weather the challenges that life sends your way.
In fact, you may have already been tough in various moments in your life, and you haven’t even realised it!
Remember that time a nasty rumour about you started circulating, but you ignored it and it went away by itself without bruising your ego? Remember when you felt broken-hearted and you didn’t completely withdraw from everyday life, you faced your emotions and you got on with your life? Or how about that time you stood up for yourself despite being scared or nervous of the outcome?
Well, those are all examples of being emotionally and mentally tough!
Refusing to be permanently knocked off the "bicycle" of life, knowing who you are, being confident, putting others before you, standing up for your beliefs, helping out in exchange for nothing, accepting 100% responsibility for every action you have ever committed: that’s what being “tough” is all about.
How do you become "tough"?
Of course you may be thinking: “That’s great! But how do I know when I’ve become emotionally tough?”
Well, there’s not really a specific moment in time in which you “become” tough. Just like there’s not really a moment when someone will come up to you and say “Congratulations, sir, you are now an adult!”
Some people realise they’ve become “tough” when they are able to give some helpful advice on something they were previously confronted with. Others look back to a specific moment in time, or to a specific event, and think “Whoa, that was a pretty rough patch, am I glad that’s over!”.
Basically, it’s any moment you realise that the worst is now behind you, that you’re still here, that the world is still turning, and that you’ve grown a little bit wiser.
It's all about support and respect!
Of course, it’s easier to be emotionally stable and mentally tough if you have a caring, supportive, and nurturing environment (family, friends) that you can rely on for help or advice. Even when you think or feel alone, remember that there’s always someone you can turn to!
Also keep in mind that being “tough” doesn’t mean being “insensitive” or “unkind”! There may be instances in which you’ll think “if I can weather tough periods, so should other people”.
But not everyone can be ready and strong in an instant. Everyone has different lives, different issues, and different reactions to challenges. Be as sensitive as you can, and try to be an emotional anchor for other people.
Remember: What doesn’t break you only makes you stronger!
In not more than 150 words, share with us how you overcame a particular challenge in your life. Simply post a comment to this article. The 10 most interesting entries will win a pair of movie vouchers!
When I was about 13/14 years of age,I was not brave enough to confront others about problems working as a group for a project.Hence,instead of talking to them,I wrote down the things I wanted to say to them.However,the things that I wrote down cause more misunderstandings.Till now,I have a secondary school friend that is still in the same class as me in polytechnic but we are still not on talking terms.I regretted writing to them instead of talking to them as I was afraid of them.
Now whenever I have a problem with someone,I'll try to talk to them to clear the misunderstandings,instead of cowering and writing to them which may cause more misunderstanding. I believe I have become more matured this way.
Peer Pressure: We all went shopping, and they had a different fashion style than me. They then all started talking about how they hate the new fashions and that they make people look stupid when, at the time, I was wearing some of the new fashion out. They started saying they think everyone should dress like them. We went into new look and every time I picked something up and said I liked it, they all just laughed and went, yeah, for an old lady.
if i can do it, so can you...please support me 
How Did You Handle It? I didn't handle it very well. In the end I gave in and started wearing the clothes they wanted me to and started dressing like them. I changed my whole appearance. It also changed who I was as a person, I started changing my style of music, my hair, everything about me changed because I didn't want to feel "left out" by the group. My other friends who I hung around with outside school sometimes stopped hanging out with me because I looked a mess. People started bullying me and take the mic out of me, my life practically wen down the drain just because I wanted to "fit" in with this group. In the end I realised the clothes I was wearing weren't me, so I changed back to my original style. I got a new group of friends and everything started looking up again and the bullying stopped. I believe now that my worth is not determined by mere human beings but by the way i carry myself
i failed a maths in class. it was the first time in my life i failed a paper, it was a horror to me. honestly, my parents and teachers have high expectations on me. even my friends were joking with me, laughing at how i can fail with such easy questions. i was defeated at that point of time because i mugged extremely hard, but my efforts were unseen. But o levels is just 1 year away, i am giving myself more revision time to make sure i excel in this subject and that i will come back even stronger, i will not allow myself to be defeated that easily because i am more than a conquerer. and honestly speaking. it is just a mere paper, i shouldnt dwell too much on it. there's more to life than just exams. to all students, all the best to your studies, but remember, life is not just all about studies!
About half a year ago, my dad had a stroke and was admitted into the hospital. He was warded in ICU for about one week and a half and i had to visit him after my long hours at school everyday.
It was heartbreaking seeing my dad with all the tubes inserted into him and watching him tied to the bed because he tried to leave for home. I had to juggle between school and the tight submission deadlines and I had mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.
But that did not break me because I remembered my friends who supported me through this tough time and that there is always a way out, if you’re determined and patient enough to wait for it. My dad is now out of the hospital and when I look back, I was glad that I did not break but carried on believing.
Eight years ago, the worst challenge of my life happened when my mother died suddenly of a heart attack. My parents had been married for 52 years and my poor father fell apart. He and my mother had just had a big argument right before my mother's heart attack and I know that this fact must have been on my dad's mind as he was holding my mom's hand as she lay dying. The next few months were hell. My dad would just bust out crying and I would just hug him. I had only saw my father cry a handful of times in my life, but after my mom's death, he would cry all of the time. A few months later, my dad remarried. Although we, his children were shocked that he would remarry so quickly after my mother's death, I was happy that my dad wouldn't be alone and I know that this saved his life for he would have surely grieved to death over my mother. I came to the conclusion that some people cannot stand the idea of being alone whereas being alone has been a constant for me. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely. I have learned a lot about myself and I am my own person aside from being someone's husband, father or boyfriend. The great majority of people do not have this distinction. If they are not paired with anyone, they lose all sense of self-worth. My dad got married when he was a teenager and he never lived alone. My mother's death made him confront this possibility and it terrified him. I looked up to my father and I still do, but realizing this about him made me respect myself and that when it comes to weathering life's storms, I have the 'strength' (not Toughness which is a sham) to get through it and help others to weather it to, just like with my dad. BTW: My dad and his new wife are going to celebrate their 7 wedding anniversary next month!
About four years ago, a man who I had to get a protective order on because he was stalking me, forced his way into my house and violently assaulted me. This is the only time in my life I thought I was going to die.He was arrested soon after. The next year, went to trial. Day after the trial, I was on my way to Iraq. (Military). I was a gunner on several different routes every night. Yes, females do fight, too. Looking back, I am surprised I made it through what I did. You just have to keep going forward and know that you will get through what you have to and always know that you are never alone.
4 years ago, I withdraw myself from people because I could not really stand trying to fit in and be a follower. From then on, all insults or group works was hard for me, for someone like me that have issues with communicating with people is hard. Sticking up to others too. Help yourself before helping others. Till now, I been trying to find an answer why I feel lonely and out of place all the time?